Confessions of a Star Wars Virgin

That’s right, I have never seen Star Wars (any of the movies, that is.  So thanks for all the spoilers out there, universe!)  Lately, I’ve kept this to myselftrying just to blend in, nodding and smiling … once or twice even saying “Yeah, _____ is my favorite character, too.”  But when I do tell the truth, I’ll pause to see if I get a gasp or look of horror out of someone.  It’s a rare occurrence that I don’t get at least some kind of surprised reaction.

Why haven’t I seen it?  I honestly don’t know.  Growing up, it just didn’t come up when talking to my friends.  (I stuck more to what I thought was popular, mainstream media.)  I have an older cousin who has always been really into it, as she had seen the original in the theaters.  But I thought it would be a passing thing like her other favorite shows, MASH and ER.  Then, the newer ones were being made, but I still didn’t know too many people into it and thought it would someday be over/not so important once something else came along.

Well, I couldn’t be more wrong. (This should be read with the Chandler Bing inflection, FYI.)  Unlike other things that you hear about less and less after a while as the core group of fans grow older, this is one fad that looks like it’s not dying down anytime soon, with a fandom that’s only growing larger and larger with each new generation.  It’s everywhere on the Internet and in stores; there’s new memorabilia coming out every day (from toys, to clothing, to housewares, and spanning from baby to adult); Disney bought it, so it’s everywhere at Disneyland (even with a new land coming soon); and there are still movies being made.  (Of course I wouldn’t know if they are sequels, remakes, prequels, etc.)

So lately, I realize that I’m missing out on something big, and I’m starting to feel left out.  Even one of my favorite shows says, “the only people in the universe who have never seen Star Wars are the characters in Star Wars and that’s ’cause they lived them Ted, that’s ’cause they lived the Star Wars” (How I Met Your Mother).

I also thought that eventually once I told someone, “I’ve never seen that,” instead of just looking shocked, they would insist we watch it together, and that would be it.

I envisioned it to go like this:

Me: I’ve never seen Star Wars.
Them: What?!  Why not?!
Me: I don’t know.
Them: Well, want to watch it?
Me: OK, let’s go.

[then we skip off and go watch it…the end.]

Except, it usually goes like this:

Me: I’ve never seen Star Wars.
Them: What?!  Why not?!
Me: I don’t know.
Them: What do you mean, ‘I don’t know?’
Me: It just hasn’t happened yet.  I would like to see it though.
Them: You should; we’ll have to watch it someday!
Me: OK.

[…and nothing ever happens.]

Whether or not those people who were “shocked and dismayed” that I hadn’t watched it actually still re-watch Star Wars ever is beyond my knowledge, because they’ve never once invited me to join them.  A past ex once had me watch the Family Guy version instead, and then said that was good enough.  …I didn’t think so.

But I just cannot sit down and watch it by myself, because I’m afraid I’ll miss the beauty of it and not understand the big deal.  Most films (especially epic ones) I believe are meant to be watched/shared with someoneat least the first viewing, that is.

Not to mention that I’d probably watch the wrong one first.  I mean, one friend told me to start with #4 … Is it called “Star Wars 4?”  Another person once said to make sure I watch the old and not the new version … is that still #4?  And if not, how do I find out which one is 4, and which one is the old version?  It’s like trying to start watching Doctor Who when there’s the old episodes and the reboot. 

What I think I need to do is find a fan (a real one who loves it, not just likes it) to take my hand and walk me through this.  But the question is now, with the new movie coming out and having waited this long, should I just find anyone and end my Star Wars virginity ASAP … or I should I avoid the jokes, merchandise, and excitement for the time being, just enjoy my Christmas, and save it to be with someone special?  And what happens if I don’t love it?  I do not want to be a Stella by any means (HIMYM reference again, and I’m not sorry).

Anyways, I’ll keep you posted. [Update so far as of Feb. 2016: I did get into Doctor Who and binge watched a bunch right before it was taken off Netflix and Hulu.  I have yet to find someone who owns Star Wars or an affordable copy of the 1977 version, but it’s still on my to do list.]


One Comment Add yours

  1. H.E. Jones says:

    If you ever have any questions about Star Wars, feel free to ask. I’m a huge Star Wars geek, and I’m always up for introducing people to one of my favorite franchises. 🤘🏻


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